A crucial part of any game is the referee, and a good referee can make the game a pleasure for all involved, but a bad referee can also make a potential good memory a bad one.

And as Coach you have a responsibility to your club, and it’s players, to make sure the right amount of respect is given, but referees you also have responsibility for this great game and it’s future!

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So, what makes a good referee?

I was asked this whilst talking to a referees mentor, several years ago, while as manager of Cheddar FC and, in order to keep you in suspense, I will wait until near the end of this blog to say the three or four things I feel ALL referees need to be in order to make themselves successful and also make the game or enjoyable!

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All of this, whilst delivering what players and managers/coaches need from them - simple, huh?

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Over many years in the game I have experienced a number of different referees of different qualities and styles and I would conclude that there is not so there is one style that suits all.

However, one thing is certain, in the mind of Tim Richens, and that is that referees do need to understandthe game and its culture, as well as just knowing the rules (important though that is!)
 

Before becoming a referee myself (only a low level one - I’m no Michael Oliver!!), I actually got on really well with quite a number of referees in the game in my role as manager, though many people only remember the ones I fell out with (and there WERE some of them too!)
 

And, trust me, referees and managers CAN often be like cat and dog or cat and mouse trying to get one up on each other!!

But it’s usually done in a friendly and jokey way!
 

And I’m delighted to say that some of the referees I worked with are still friends, I'm proud to say, today and people that I have the upmost respect for!
 

But the next phase of my own understanding started during my own qualification, and, at that time, I was coached/trained by a couple of course leaders talking about refereeing and their styles were very different

* one was very much about the role of the referee being there to manage the game (but using the rules)

* the other was just far more focused on applying the laws of the game at all times and less about managing
 

As a man of many years standing in the game I truly understood the differences that they were talking about, but I felt that many of the referees on the course were quite young, and they looked completely confused as they received what seemed to be, but were not, conflicting approaches to refereeing the game!
 

In essence I believe, and this is only my opinion, not a fact, that a referee is there to make sure that the teams do apply the laws of the game consistently and fairly, whilst also managing the game itself to make sure everyone enjoys it!
 

When I talk to players (especially younger ones) who I referee now, I make sure that I explain to the captains of either team, at the coin toss, that I want to run it as if it was a game in the park between two groups of mates!
 

Within this aim, all I want to do is make the important decisions (I ask them “when a group of mates have a kick about how many people ask to referee it, the answer is always “none”, but the game still gets played, and finished!”) and explain that, contrary to rumour, I do not want to be involved and the centre of attention as a referee - there is an old football cliche that said the referees that weren’t “seen” were the best refs - I feel that cliche is as true today as it was then!
 

Once again I just want to get on with reffing a game, and make sure it flows and that both team enjoy it!
 

At a respect meeting I went to on one occasion I was talking to a very senior referee, who has officiated in the football league, and basically the discussion of the approach of the referee and the player/manager/coach came up!
 

And whilst I agreed with his sentiment that “if a player abuses me, I abuse him back” which is what he quoted.

I did say that I did not necessarily agree that this is an approach that could, or should, be formalised in anyway - because if a referee was to call me fatty or something similar or have a joke with me and I did it back in return with him we may laugh and joke about it!
 

As I explained the problem is that “next week another different referee might have a different approach”!
 

So, one week a Coach/Manager is having a laugh and drink with the referee, but the following week, doing exactly the same, the Coach/Manager could be facing a red card and/or visit to the County FA - a situation that is tough for many Coaches to deal with!

 

So, to all referees out there - what do managers and coaches (in my experience) mainly want from you?
 

This is the reply that I gave to the referees mentor who turned up for the game when I was asked “what do you want from a referee?”
 

I said I (as a Manager) want

- communication

- consistency

- protection
 

Firstly, what I mean by consistency is that if a referee is going to give a decision then he should give it regardless of the game situation, the team involved or any past history.

And they should apply this on all occasions to all players and clubs!
 

The best example I have seen, was in a Premier League game where I saw a referee give a penalty for pushing in the box, correctly, but then ignore the next few incidents and there is, with some people, a train of thought that says something along the lines of “we don't want 10 penalties in a game”.
 

Experience tells me that if a referee was to apply a penalty every time that there was a push or a player holding a shirt in the penalty area then it would soon stop happening!

In fairness, the first week of this approach might be messy but soon after that It would stop!!
 

I've also seen occasions where referees/ the FA say “we're going to retake penalties if encroachment takes place”, but it’s then ignored!

Frank Lampard was forced to take three penalties against West Ham, which must've been tough for him, just because players encroached. This rule was right but in many other games that day the same happened but the referee allowed the goals to stand
 

So that’s CONSISTENCY!!
 

The next major thing I believe all managers want is communication.

There is a view that the referee does not need to explain these decisions and this may well be the case in some instances, after all referees do get serious abuse at times, however, speaking from my perspective, as a referee if I make a decision (and these aren't always right) then I will explain where possible what I have done and why I've done it, and I genuinely believe that is what all managers (and players) want - it’s all I wanted as a Manager!
 

They do not want to be treated as second-class citizens, ignored, talked to “like dogs” or anything else demeaning!

After all they (Manager and Coaches), just like the referee, give up their own time in order to make sure that the game takes place, usually without payment and not just on a match day!
 

Respect needs to be a two-way street!!
 

In my, many years, in the game I have yet to see a manager react worse to being told why are a referee has given a decision (even if it's wrong), than when they are just ignored or having an official’s back turned on them!

So, good referees COMMUNICATE, but this applies to Coaches and Managers too - and keep it civil!
 

Everyone in the game is human and has feelings!!

 

The final thing I believe all referees need to give as a priority is protection.

It’s an often used cliche in football that "he/she has to go to work/school on Monday" but too often this really is the case, as we mainly play at grassroots for the fun of it.
 

It still horrifies me when I see a referee get "on his/her high horse” when a player has undershorts that are a slightly different shade of colour to the shorts that they're wearing, yet then takes a far less severe action over a tackle that is likely to break someone's leg.
 

So referees, PLAYER SAFETY is the most important thing and please look after all players.

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So, in summary, what I feel most coaches want from referees is a better understanding, a better relationship and so open and honest communication.
 

And I also believe, having refereed myself that this applies to managers and coaches too - respect the referee, remember why they are there and realise that, without them, there is no game and let your players know that you, and the ref, are both there to make sure a game takes place - FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE PLAYERS!
 

Perhaps a more regular respect meeting of managers/coaches and referees should take place in order this happens, I have been at one of these and I found it extremely helpful and it helped my understanding of the referee’s issues and also I think it helped the referees with the understanding of a coach’s situation, because we had a full and frank dialogue without any hidden agendas or hiding behind rules!

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I would urge all coaches and managers out there to push their County FAs to organise these ASAP - it will make the game better and more enjoyable!